Tuesday, October 20, 2009

So Sad

Beautiful Laura

A week ago today we found out that Ben's little sister, Laura, ended her own life. She had been struggling with a deep and devastating depression for many years. She tried so hard to survive. I feel so sad that this seemed like the best solution to her. I'm sad that I didn't understand the extent to how bad it was while she was alive. I'm sad that she won't be there to do the makeup and the hair of my girls for prom, because heaven knows I do not have talents there. I will miss her laugh and her quick whit. I am grateful that when she really had nothing to give, she still gave to my girls, because they love their aunt Laura and miss her terribly. That even when things were so bad, she would come babysit, build forts, do fingernails, make smores for them. My daughters have the best memories of their aunt Laura and I am so grateful for that. I will miss our deep conversations about life. I will miss the emotion that she was able to pour into a piano. I will miss her.

Ben and Laura (Laura figured out how to play the accordion that Ben got for free on craigslist)

Laura with Yvette on Ben's birthday

Laura snuggling with the girls

Autumn and Laura

Autumn and Laura

Laura and Autumn reading books together

Laura with Prairie

Prairie and Laura on Prairie's first birthday

Prairie and Laura

Laura and Zephyr (the only day I have pictures of Laura and Zephyr together)

Laura and Prairie

Emily and Laura

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Our Weekend Getaway

We got a 4 night stay at the ..... Hospital! Thursday night Zephyr had a fever, gave him some tylenol, that seemed to help. But all day friday he was burning up. When Ben got home from work he decided that we should take him to the doctor's. We took his temperature and it was 103.7 degrees. When Ben called the doctor's office and told them, they told him to come in immediately.

When they got to the doctor's the doctor said he needed to go to the hospital. He was still running a really high fever and he was very lethargic, non-responsive, they figured he was severely dehydrated and needed an IV. So Zephyr's fever broke and by Saturday morning, he was feeling sooo good, he was laughing and playing and Ben and I had such a good time with them.

By the afternoon he was really really fussy. Everything they tested (swine flue, avian flu, RSV, regular flu, all kinds of viruses) for he came up negative. Because of his extreme fussiness and because his oxygen saturations and his heart rate would drop lower than they were comfortable with we ended up staying an additional 3 nights, even though his high fever was basically gone after the first night.

Because the doctor couldn't figure out what was wrong with Zephyr, they wanted to make sure their wasn't some underlying heart problem. So Zephyr got to have a EKG and an echo cardiogram. For the echo he had to be sedated, and that was honestly kind of scary for me. His echo turned out completely normal and his heart looks great. They never figured out what made Zephyr sick, but he is better now and at home, yay!

Zephyr in his hospital crib, hooked up to monitors, an IV and antibiotics (oxygen didn't come until later)

Zephyr with his monitors

Getting and IV is no fun, here is his hand with the IV, they had to keep his wrist destabilized so it wouldn't come out, and all of his fingers taped

We had a nice view from our room, I do love Provo

Papi and Zephyr playing, when Zephyr felt soooo much better after being hydrated

Zephyr showing off his baby hospital gown, with his hospital tag and his sensor for oxygen saturation, Zephyr really didn't like that sensor, they had to redo and redo that one, because he would push it off with his feet

back view of Zephyr with his baby hospital gown

some things don't change even at the hospital, Zephyr loves to sleep in his sling, it was a little trickier though to get him in with all of his cords attached to him, plus whenever I put him in the sling, the oxygen saturation didn't read as well

Zephyr with his oxygen tubes

Autumn holding Zephyr in the hospital

Zephyr with tons of extra cords (yes that is a pink pacifier, and Ben is the one that brought it because we use all his other pacifiers, Ben couldn't find them when he went to the house to get stuff for the hospital)

Zephyr sedated getting his echo cardiogram